Welcome to the Sturm von Stahl League!

Sponsored by CaRBB, KFC and Kommodoberg: debateably the least poisonous lager in the New World and associated toiletries!

Sturm von Stahl is an international league of cuttroats, thieves and psychotic nasties - of which it is reported, only three are human and the rest....well lets just say they're the stuff of nightmares!

And why would such a motley group of individuals get together?

To compete for the ultimate prize in Blood Bowl (apart from The Spike, The Dungeon Bowl, the Chaos Cup and the actual Blood Bowl Trophy that is!) - the Sturm von Stahl League Trophy of course!

Impressive I think you will agree! - You will note the trophies beautiful design allows it to be used as a +1 ST hand weapon by the winning team in the next season! - See! We think of everything here at Sturm von Stahl!

A History Lesson on the Mythology of the Sturm von Stahl League (by Mossmac)

At the launch of Blood Bowl for the PC in August 2009 there was a great rush, globally, by players from every country to pit their Blood Bowl Coaching skills against the finest the international league could offer. After the initial frenzy and the "ooohhhs and aahhhs" had died away reality re-established itself and the International Blood Bowl community finally had to acknowledge a dirty little secret that had never been that well hidden ... there were two, very different types of Blood Bowl Coaches!

The first type effectively fell into "The Ultimate Team Stat Producer". There were different extremes of this type of coach - some used hard fought tactics and the luck of Nuffle on the Public League to try to Produce the finest team. As we know Nuffle is a fickle god and these players were few and far between. The other extreme, and shockingly far more common, was the player who openly used every cheating method out of the game to produce the "Dream Team" exploiting Cyanide blunders such as the Journeyman bug that had been left in the game. However, the most common outrageous tactic was disconnecting at any moment they didnl’t feel it was going their way! Either way both types of the Perfect Team Player despised ‘in-game’ dirty tactics and strategies when used by their opponents and whined openly on the forums about such things as Turn 16 Gang fouling, stalling and 1 turn TDs.

The second type of player distinguished themselves by immersing themselves fully into the "spirit" of Blood Bowl - its background, its violence, but most of all its uncaring, black, yet hilarious humor. They launched forum attack after attack on the Dream Team Coaches, arguing back and forth that their black humorous ways of playing the game, writing match reports and generally having a laugh was the best way to enjoy Blood Bowl. Neither side would compromise and slowly the Cyanide forums became a lifeless backdrop as the two camps organized themselves into their own private leagues and private forums.

All but one! - A beacon was seen striding through the dark corridors of the Cyanide forums, calling players to follow his example and rise up and create a league that would bring the true spirit of Blood Bowl back to the masses - his name was, Steel*faith!

And to his banner there flocked a core of players - a fellowship of 15 - not all would stay the test of time, some would falter, but others would join and replace the fallen. In the distance a cry could be heard. As time moved the noise became a roar - STURM VON STAHL!, STURM VON STAHL! STURM VON STAHL!

And in this broken silence of the darkness a new league was born! A League that brought the misfits under its banner. A League whose humor was appropriately of the most lowest kind. A League that was proud to proclaim that it was not just acceptable for players to be ganged fouled and killed, but Nuffle’s right to take the souls of all who played Blood Bowl at any time or place!

And in this maelstrom there arose such characters as Earl Phoenix, Mike Sprayflem, Owen Statsponderel to hold the blazing light of the Sturm von Stahl Blood Bowl League aloft.

And so Season 1 began. Death followed Death, Blood flowed freely and some of the funniest Match Reports ever penned were displayed across the Mesozoic Cable-ways.

At times the light seem to falter during that first season, as the great vortex of energy that was Steel*faith began to wane - no true man was supposed to wield such power and live. Some said they could hear Nuffle calling for his Avatar’s soul to return to his bosom, but as one name fades into myth, new men step forward to carry the message onwards - for the Spirit of Nuffle, never falters - it reaches out and grasps those most unlikely to succeed and remolds them into something much less and at the same time much greater than a normal man - it creates a TRUE BLOODBOWL COACH!............

Some more about the History of the Sturm von Stahl League (by Kirjava)

Sturm von Stahl

Originally a tiny informal organisation born in the Empire somewhere near Nuln, Sturm von Stahl was one of the few leagues in the area to survive what is referred to as the Great Flaccidity (which is no longer talked of among those in the know), and absorbed several rival leagues after this traumatic and really quite important event which will not be discussed here for any reason. Spotting a sound business investment, it was bought outright by the Altdorf noble Klaus Wrenhamburg, whose careful (some said soulless, cutthroat and illegal, but then they frequently vanished, so they can't have been right) leadership saw it grow into a regional powerhouse, and one of the top independent leagues in the Old World.

Klaus' leadership came to a sudden and dramatic end when he was informed that he was being investigated by Imperial officials for 'financial irregularities' relating to something called the Suck Fund, and jumped off the top of his Wrenhamburg Industries tower. The business passed to his son, Dennis Wrenhamburg, who had absolutely no interest in running things but had every interest in flamboyant outfits, sexual deviancy and a great number of activities too lewd and sinful to ever be mentioned in print. With Dennis content to use his father's business as a fund for his extravagant lifestyle, true control fell to one Drack-Yoular von Vampyre, a Sylvanian aristocrat whose name is an absolute hilarious coincidence. Understand? Good. Anyway, Drack's habits for holding board meetings exclusively during the night, having a constantly-rotating secretary position and keeping not a single polished surface in his office were dismissed as the eccentricities of an entrepreneurial genius, and while Dennis interrupted proceedings occasionally to yell, "FAAAATHER!!!" at random, the Sturm von Stahl league went from strength to strength.

Mesozoic Media

A tiny adorable kitten among the chubby tomcats of Blood Bowl leagues, Mesozoic began life as one of many small independent leagues across the World Pond in Lustria, where the Lizardmen had been keen to make clear to adventurous Old Worlders that they had, in fact, come up with the sport a long long time ago, thank you very much, and could they at least get a little credit for it? There was little to distinguish Mesozoic for the longest time, until an enterprising Skink on one of the teams, Odznendz, had acquired some Cabalvision broadcasting equipment- crystal balls, magic stones, etc- &qout;off the back of a Stegadon", an explanation nobody thought it sensible to question, and 'Mesozoic Media' was born. The ability to broadcast their matches suddenly put the league a cut above the rest, and its sharp-eyed Skink administrators soon began to expand their portfolio, buying the rights to cover more Lustrian and Naggarothian leagues and establishing current affairs and cookery programmes to go alongside their sports section. Before long, Mesozoic Media was one of the big names in Lustrian business.

A Completely Stress-Free Merger

While the Sturm von Stahl league was respected and acclaimed throughout Blood Bowl circles for its independence and respectability (it is an unwritten rule that doping is mandatory, and at least one devious cheat must be used per match), it lacked attention from the wider public, being known only to more hardcore fans and critics- indeed, to be able to comment on the goings-on of the league was a mark of a truly committed Blood Bowl fan. This, however, did not satisfy Drack-Yoular von Vampyre, who had been looking for ways to expand into the mainstream for some time. Bizarrely, it was the unorthodox Dennis Wrenhamburg who brought about the merger of Sturm von Stahl and Mesozoic- bursting into a board meeting with a typical cry of, "FAAAAATHER!!!" he announced that he wanted a Cabalvision channel of his very own, and that he had purchased one of those exotic ones from Lustria (rumour has it that this was after a hefty session of 'inter-species erotica' with a harem of Skink hussies, but naturally nothing can be verified without a full medical examination). This 'exotic one' turned out to be Mesozoic, which had seen the merger as a chance to expand overseas.

With the capital of Wrenhamburg Industries now available to them, Mesozoic has since polished its sports section, luring the illustrious Earl Phoenix to be their glamorous and smooth-talking (though not entirely scandal-free) sports anchor, alongside a host of top-quality commentators and analysts. Sturm von Stahl, in the meantime, has used the increased coverage to become a truly international league, attracting teams from the World's Edge Mountains to the Chaos Wastes, as well as importing several prominent Lizardmen teams from the old Mesozoic League. With Drack at the helm and Dennis making headlines with his outrageous behaviour, the future of Sturm von Stahl and Mesozoic looks about as bright as anything can in Blood Bowl. So a sort of murky grey. That'd be it.

So if your Blood Bowl Coaching instincts have taken over, after seeng what is at stake, (and if they haven’t then you are obviously either comatosed or dead!) then read on and see how you too can enter a team in what is claimed to be the dirtiest, nastiest and bloodiest league ever created!

Welcome to the

Sturm von Stahl Blood Bowl League!